.dejected mode.

today is not a good day.
pathetically shall not be that bad either.

self-realization.
muhasabah.
whatever you call it.
thats what i'm doing.

i'm an idealist.
within the context of divine rules @ shariah.
i'm a catalyst.
to work on things which fools won't do.

i don't bother to fix the situation.
of mere rumors or people making assumptions about me that obviously aren't true.
like seriously, you are wasting your time.
i am not going to leave her.
i am sorry.
for you.

biiznillah.;)

.like seriously.

who cares about pure kindness nowadays
a capitalist doesn't care about what they can do for the society.

the least they could do is:

they create the word 'philanthropy' activities.
to signifies that they care about human being.

but maybe acceptable since they do something nice even with the expectation of getting public acknowledgment.
referring to this - fiqh maxim :
'choose the least between two harms'

p/s : fabricated kindness.is there such word?.;)

.moving uncomfortably too slow.

travelling again
i know exactly how it's gonna end
the routine day dream starts as I get off
i'm holding up the queue
because my ticket won't go through
i know it should be simple but it's not

something's gotta change
i know i'm lucky in a lot of ways
so why do I want more
than what I have?
brace myself to hear the lies
i wonder if they know that I
don't get the jokes but I just
need to laugh

there's infinite detail
when you break it down
it all becomes simple how
it all becomes clearer now

so don't take my photograph
cos I don't wanna know how it looks
to feel like this
as cars and people pass
it feels like standing still but I know
i'm just moving sub-consciously
slow.

p/s : not mine - newton faulkner

.never-ending futsal.

we lost for the 3rd time.
in a row.
with different teams apparently.
record for this holiday so far.
10 games.7 win.3 lose.
my right ankle seems to lose its power.
hurm?

p/s : finding a template for resignation letter for president's post resignation.or should i create my own?haish~

.suddenly.

while i was reading sayd qutb's maa'lim fil al-tariq of english version : milestone.
something triggered me to say this to myself.

lama dah tak dengar ceramah, usrah atau ta'lim ttg hukum atau isu agama.
reading is one of the ways but it'll never be enough.
am i going to be one of those liberalist?

BIG no.

p/s : lets see.at the moment radio pun ok kot.

.blessing in disguise.

(considering this is my personal blog,it is not so 'PDA' for me to express what i feel about my personal matters.thank you)

(hurm..i missed out 1 pin)

last sem result was the worst result ever since i got into uia.
still, i'm grateful enough.
considering my sins and time wasted for unnecessary things.(bowling and etc).
surprisingly i didn't fail one of the most ambiguous subjects : decision making & control @ d.m.c.
i got the first B in my transcript from aib.
i want it to be the first and the last.
surprisingly surprised.
it is not that bad.
will try harder for the remaining two semesters.

p/s : u can do it too hana fi qalbi!

.once not so in a blue moon.

the best part of this week was.
i had weird and strange dreams almost everyday.
this morning,the dream that got me wake up.
was the weirdest one ever.

the situation :
i was on my way to my class and suddenly there was this lady who approached me bluntly and introduced herself as reporter from a media tv and ask me this question.

the personel involved :
unknown reporter - UR
me myself - AFA

UR : i would like to interview you regards to the current government development project.(i heard she was mumbling something about felda koridor tengah.apa tu?)

AFA :(what is this?!!),erm, you really want my opinion?.(with blurry face)

UR : yar,if you have something in your mind.(does he know anything about it?)

(hurm, i have things to say about this)

AFA : i have my personal view on this, do you really want to interview me?

UR : yurp.before we discuss about that,try to comment on this one.what do you think of 'konsep persamaan'?

(i spent few minutes to absorb the question.'konsep persamaan'?maybe in allocation of national resources kot?why she used malay term?i guess it must be the 'equality concept')

(and the thoughts and conceptual example with nelson mandela's concept of distributive justice, maqasid al-syariah and etc keep coming in my head,so i begin my answer with...)

AFA : If you're referring to the equality concept,this can be explained through.....

i woke up before i finished explaining my view on that but what was that?
a critical question to be answered in a dream?
phheeeuuuhh.

.funny.funny.funny.

you can't wait to feel positive to move forward.
act your way into feeling good.
that's the only way to start thinking more positively about yourself.
understand?.

p/s : yusuf islam datang uiam?pheuh.:)