Wednesday, December 29, 2010

.dejected mode.


today is not a good day.
pathetically shall not be that bad either.

self-realization.
muhasabah.
whatever you call it.
thats what i'm doing.

i'm an idealist.
within the context of divine rules @ shariah.
i'm a catalyst.
to work on things which fools won't do.

i don't bother to fix the situation.
of mere rumors or people making assumptions about me that obviously aren't true.
like seriously, you are wasting your time.
i am not going to leave her.
i am sorry.
for you.

biiznillah.;)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

.like seriously.


who cares about pure kindness nowadays
a capitalist doesn't care about what they can do for the society.

the least they could do is:

they create the word 'philanthropy' activities.
to signifies that they care about human being.

but maybe acceptable since they do something nice even with the expectation of getting public acknowledgment.
referring to this - fiqh maxim :
'choose the least between two harms'

p/s : fabricated kindness.is there such word?.;)

.moving uncomfortably too slow.

travelling again
i know exactly how it's gonna end
the routine day dream starts as I get off
i'm holding up the queue
because my ticket won't go through
i know it should be simple but it's not

something's gotta change
i know i'm lucky in a lot of ways
so why do I want more
than what I have?
brace myself to hear the lies
i wonder if they know that I
don't get the jokes but I just
need to laugh

there's infinite detail
when you break it down
it all becomes simple how
it all becomes clearer now

so don't take my photograph
cos I don't wanna know how it looks
to feel like this
as cars and people pass
it feels like standing still but I know
i'm just moving sub-consciously
slow.


p/s : not mine - newton faulkner

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

.never-ending futsal.


we lost for the 3rd time.
in a row.
with different teams apparently.
record for this holiday so far.
10 games.7 win.3 lose.
my right ankle seems to lose its power.
hurm?

p/s : finding a template for resignation letter for president's post resignation.or should i create my own?haish~

.suddenly.

while i was reading sayd qutb's maa'lim fil al-tariq of english version : milestone.
something triggered me to say this to myself.

lama dah tak dengar ceramah, usrah atau ta'lim ttg hukum atau isu agama.
reading is one of the ways but it'll never be enough.
am i going to be one of those liberalist?

BIG no.

p/s : lets see.at the moment radio pun ok kot.

.blessing in disguise.

(considering this is my personal blog,it is not so 'PDA' for me to express what i feel about my personal matters.thank you)


(hurm..i missed out 1 pin)

last sem result was the worst result ever since i got into uia.
still, i'm grateful enough.
considering my sins and time wasted for unnecessary things.(bowling and etc).
surprisingly i didn't fail one of the most ambiguous subjects : decision making & control @ d.m.c.
i got the first B in my transcript from aib.
i want it to be the first and the last.
surprisingly surprised.
it is not that bad.
will try harder for the remaining two semesters.

p/s : u can do it too hana fi qalbi!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

.once not so in a blue moon.



the best part of this week was.
i had weird and strange dreams almost everyday.
this morning,the dream that got me wake up.
was the weirdest one ever.

the situation :
i was on my way to my class and suddenly there was this lady who approached me bluntly and introduced herself as reporter from a media tv and ask me this question.

the personel involved :
unknown reporter - UR
me myself - AFA

UR : i would like to interview you regards to the current government development project.(i heard she was mumbling something about felda koridor tengah.apa tu?)

AFA :(what is this?!!),erm, you really want my opinion?.(with blurry face)

UR : yar,if you have something in your mind.(does he know anything about it?)

(hurm, i have things to say about this)

AFA : i have my personal view on this, do you really want to interview me?

UR : yurp.before we discuss about that,try to comment on this one.what do you think of 'konsep persamaan'?

(i spent few minutes to absorb the question.'konsep persamaan'?maybe in allocation of national resources kot?why she used malay term?i guess it must be the 'equality concept')

(and the thoughts and conceptual example with nelson mandela's concept of distributive justice, maqasid al-syariah and etc keep coming in my head,so i begin my answer with...)

AFA : If you're referring to the equality concept,this can be explained through.....

i woke up before i finished explaining my view on that but what was that?
a critical question to be answered in a dream?
phheeeuuuhh.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

.funny.funny.funny.


you can't wait to feel positive to move forward.
act your way into feeling good.
that's the only way to start thinking more positively about yourself.
understand?.

p/s : yusuf islam datang uiam?pheuh.:)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

.life is not all about achievements.

i'm not such a good guy.
i have my own flaws.
among them :

i love war.
between bad guys and good guys.
it is something herm.
thrilling?exciting?.

weird.

p/s : goodluck north korea.:)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

.i like her.



hana fi qalbi.
it is not something new.
but it is something different.
she is unique.
she is one of a kind.

:)

p/s : check out snsd new single.hehe.;)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

.doomed.

i feel like I'm nothing.
i have nothing.
i know nothing.
and this is so frustrating.

while i see u.
as something.
have everything.
need nothing.

i don't know what i want to be.
auditor?.fund manager?.lecturer?.
business consultant?.marketeer?.a banker?.

what I'm sure of is i want to keep getting better.
achieve more than what i have.
help others.
getting closer to Him.
in any way i can.

do i need them to be in perfection?.
you think?.

perfection is an illustration of world of hopes without fears.
sadly the real world deals with both.
obviously my words doesn't fit with the real world's demand.
hence,i can't do much about that.
i just need to redefine what is the real perfection again.
and again.

so where is this going?.
i have no idea.
i don't even know where this is coming from.
;/

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

.failures.i don't really like being stupid.


we are human.
we like to know things.
if we are not sure about something.
we search for the answer.
we google 'em.
we ask people around.
we read magazines.
we listen to others.
we observe the surrounding.
we try to perceive anything that can be relate to them.
yet.
we failed.

i'm getting used to failures.
no problem with that.
but i don't like being stupid.
not at all.

this is not going to stop me from reading and knowing things.

we hate you lousy education system.!
your artificial merits is the one that allow irresponsible people lead the country.!

;/

Friday, November 5, 2010

.someone new.

i just figured out this lady today.
but her videos on youtube has been posted since 2006.
i'm so outdated.;(

btw,shes good.quite good i would say.:)

introducing : nerina pallot



p/s : ai ai.;)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

.satisfied.


officially i've resigned from the president's post.
i don't want to be someone that i'm not.
i just want to be myself.
a free-man and remain as an idealist.
and let only me myself define what the word 'cool' means to me.

p/s : thank you mdm for the consideration given.well,u can't stop me pun.hehe.;)

Saturday, October 23, 2010

.tragedy happens in a wonderful time.(liyana's light writing)



eh.?

1.when can i start studying for final?
2.why everyone is getting married/engaged?why now?why not 3 or 4 years later?
3.why is she being nice to me?
4.what if she leaves me,will it just be another circle?
5.why i hate and don't want the president's post?
6.why i think about my mum lately?
7.why,what if,how,when,who?.

p/s : when words unspoken,thoughts are written by silence in isolation.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

.i cant stop.


when some devote themselves to social life.
others passionate their days with intellectual stuff.

as the world evolves and leave nothing but a perfection for disasters.
the aristocrats will keep smiling to those below their silver lining castle.

capitalism in any form is disastrous.

p/s :
amir shakib ar-salan in his book 'factors of the fall of muslim civilization',said one of the factors is when the hearts of aristocracy filled with evil habits and jealousy.

tiba2 teringat things i read masa first year.;-)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

.i love this song.:-)

i cry myself to sleep at night
i'm a ball of tears the moment i hit the lights
o my
what have i done?
i've pushed all my friends away
now my heart is beating me
like my daddy did
when i misbehaved

and lonely is my friend
she tucks me in
out of concern
she lights a candle
so i'm not the only one who burns
lonely, won't stay with me
til the morning birds sing their
clever words
and the songs they call
fill this lonely world

i drag my feet across the ground
i think they're the ones
who are dragging me into the crowd
o my my
but why should i care
if anyone thinks i'm cool
is it so bad that i prefer
the company of my solitude?



.david knight-lonely is my friend.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

.stumbled into something not so new.



when regrets hold you back from moving on.
you fell.
when the fears slow down your pace from minutes to hours.
you drowned.
when solitude feels like a blessing in disguise.
you crawled.
when you have feeling for someone.
you cried.

it doesnt make sense at all.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

.saya rasa.

my english proficiency has become worst lately.
kena join british council asap.
haish.;/

Saturday, October 16, 2010

.i wonder why.




its creepy when people trust you much for something you not even sure of.
its funny if someone feel inferior towards you when you know you are nothing but ordinary.
its something superficial when u try to get the best when u know you don't deserve to get them.
its so frustrating when a friend of yours don't really understand what it means by the word 'responsibility'.

p/s : i didn't mean to treat u coldly.

I am a simple man
So I sing a simple song
Never been so much in love
And never hurt so bad at the same time.

I am a simple man
And I play a simple tune
I wish that I could see you once again
Across the room like the first time.

I just want to hold you I don't want to hold you down
I hear what you're saying and you're spinning my head around
And I can't make it alone.

The ending of the tale
Is the singing of the song
Make me proud to be your man only you can make me strong
Like the last time.

I just want to hold you I don't want to hold you down
I hear what you're saying and you're spinning my head around
And I can't make it alone.

graham nash : simple man

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

.you should've done this years ago.

I was attracted to one article written by the edge's columnist which questioning Khazanah's investment arm strategy that invest in the GLCs.I read this like months ago.Before the semester perhaps.The reasons behind his criticism are well explained and fact-based.Hence,today's news don't really surprised me much though.

Khazanah’s stake sale to improve market liquidity

http://biz.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/10/14/business/7221846&sec=business

p/s: long live idealist.;p

Sunday, October 10, 2010

.beautiful things are distraction.



if capitalism lies in the idea of maximizing capability and ignoring inequality.
is it harmful to the society?.
of course you say yes.
we should eliminate capitalism.

tapi cakap tak serupa bikin.
tajuk eap : malaysia should involved more in free trade activities.

p/s :
i have issues with 4 things
1.capitalism
2.secularism
3.realism vs idealism
4.loneliness

.an old video.hippy tunes.lazy mood.;p

Monday, September 27, 2010

.pain put your heart to the ground.

When the wind blows down this hard,
Many a bond is broken.
See the water lie on the ground
From where the heavens opened.

Lord, how will you get through this night
With your dreams departed?
And who alone will comfort you?
Only the broken hearted.

So you've gone beyond your means,
Every wound is open,
Your best laid plans are out of reach,
And all your fears unspoken.

Sweet revenge is spoken then;
In the twilight it is gone.
To living lies with no escape,
Lord, I would rather be alone.

I press my fingers to the wood
To tell you of my dreaming,
To sing you songs from olden times,
To keep the love light gleaming.

'Cause there's a place where we can go,
Where we will not be parted.
And who alone will enter there?
Only the broken hearted.

eric clapton - broken hearted

.rejection.

once is acceptable.
twice is hurtful enough.

this is the sunatullah :
you get hurt when u hurt others

perfection!.;p

Friday, September 24, 2010

.after years.

yeay!.



the scenery is undeniably awesome.
the gap is such a height.
the person was not ready to pull some trick just yet.
not today,maybe next week.
and the person is me.

;-)

.idle and reconcilation.

.mission outlined in review.

.things to be done before 31 December 2010.

accomplished : done
accomplished but not completed : pending
no specific action taken : idle

1.get into mandarin class.idle.
2.get into french class.idle.
3.join any professional convention or seminars.pending.
Unisel Accounting Symposium : FRS Convergence (May 2010) : done.
Uniten Accounting Conference : Forensic Auditing (October 2010) : soon.
UiTM Accounting Conference : MIA's dual year event (November 2010) : planned.
4.join advanced english class.idle.
5.complete my dreams book.idle and unnecessary.
6.hafaz few surah from qur'an and 10 hadith at least.idle.eh?
7.buy malcolm gladwell's & mitch albom's books.
malcolm's left to buy : tipping point.done.(march 2010)
mitchs's left to buy : have a little faith.(april 2010).e-book.
*additional 3 books bought.power of giving.failing forward.napoleon's summary.
8.searching for info regarding acca abroad.pending.
9.read at least new 15 books.pending.(done if include fortune's and solusi magazines)
10.create new dreams.pending.
11.experience new things & new friends.done.
12.get into formal guitar/piano class.(even it's like too late).done.
13.to reach 60 kg physically.idle.

.unintended light.



the decision made is not to be regret.

i feel better this way.
sorry.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

.under His clouds.


i want to be most cold-hearted man on earth.
pretend that the world is easy to deal with.
and in ignorance of beautiful things that living around me.
i'm sick of being in the state of not knowing whats wrong and whats right.
thus i chose the holy book and His words as my guide.
to help me through this journey of life.

i want to go far far away.
see new things.meet strangers.touches something unseen yet beautiful.
live with regrets.yet motivated.flourish the kindness throughout the universe.
and with the calmness inside the heart.
i want to feel my life under His bless.
again.like i felt it once before.
not so long ago.

perfection isnt the right answer.
because it's not a total imagition,but only a fatal distraction.
hopes and desires are not achievable.
when guts and confidence is still in puzzle.

i met her.such a perfect stranger.
with just a blink of an eye,she was more than a stranger.
but now i'm not that sure.
whether i have the time for my other half.better i leave sooner than later.

its not easy,and its not hard.
its extremely difficult and it hurts inside.

if possible,i want to die.now.
but my religion will say no.

sorry.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

.it's just another confusion.



failures illuminate distraction.
love invites a confusion.
the heart try to reach the perfection.
but nothing in return.even for my own satisfaction.

imagining myself at the edge of hill.
having a beautiful sight from a blinded view.
trying to search for an answer but often failed.
looking down on the earth is what i should do.

dancing in the middle of the street to get some attention.
without music,without beat,it's nothing more than a sensible action.
the surrounding failed to perceived the main intention.
funny,because even a fool would understand that this is just his own creation.

happy yawn.funny tears and peaceful smile.
there is someone listening from a thousand mile.
would it be the dearest or just someone else.
keep it silent.i must let my heart get enough rest.

its ramadhan.;-)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

.i'm lost.seriously.

i'm not as motivated as i should be at the moment.
i'm hopeless.wandering in distraction.
leaving myself in the flow is so not me.
it's like flying without a direction to an end.
and i'm not even sure what is my end?
re-define it?will you?

;-/

He's a real nowhere man,
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
Making all his nowhere plans
for nobody.

Nowhere Man please listen,
You don't know what you're missing,
Nowhere Man,the world is at your command!

He's as blind as he can be,
Just sees what he wants to see,
Nowhere Man can you see me at all?

Nowhere Man, don't worry,
Take your time, don't hurry,
Leave it all till somebody else
lends you a hand!

Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

.i need some inspiration.it's Him.;p



'a man who never sleep is the one who always keep thinking'(anonymous)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

.dont let your heart dies.its rejab!!!.;-)



routines kill your beautiful imagination.
passion fade away when there is no action.
loneliness invites nothing more than confussion.
and your heart dies when religion is no longer an attraction.

p/s: selamat menyambut kedatangan rejab.ahlan wahsalan.;-)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

.conferences.

after browsing through list of conferences, i want to join two conferences that will be held soon around july/august.which is my kind of conferences(finance,islamic banking,accounting or leadership).want to know the details?(in case you want to join me?haha)

1st Option
Title : Asia Islamic Banking Conference
Venue : TBD (Kuala Lumpur)
Date : 5th to 7th July
Fees : TBD (i hope its below RM1k)
Organizer : Flemming Gulf Conferences (international organizer) & other big parties.

2nd Option
Title : 7th Kuala Lumpur Islamic Finance Conference
Venue : Hotel Nikko (Kuala Lumpur)
Date : 3th to 4th August
Fees : RM 2000 to RM2500
Organizer : Malaysia International Islamic Finance Centre(MIFC) & other big names.(dow jones,maybanks,hsbc,klse,rhb,wsj & etc)

i hope i'll be able to join one of these, havent apply to my scholar's body yet,but im sure they will approve them,ops,one of them.huhu.;-)

p/s ; i need to offline now,there's this guy in the cc that keep saying f**k every 2 minutes.sakit telinga woo.salam.;-)

.love this video very much.



despite the fact that maher zain is already famously known by iium's students long time ago, i never mentioned anything about him in my blog, but now i want to post his video here, just because i love this particular video very much.:-)

p/s : have a nice day.;p

.heart of life.the end of practical mode is near.so smile again friends.will you?.;p



I hate to see you cry lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But i know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But i know the heart of life is good


*if only i can perform like him
.i'm a dreamer kan?haha;-)

i always imagine myself performing with acoustics guitar in front of the audience singing my kind of songs.will i able to make it happen?perhaps on my wed?haha.;-)

p/s: ive performed once during this official ceremony with my commercial law's lecturer watching.haha.dengan azzad lagi tu.;p

Monday, May 17, 2010

.idealism vs realism.(pre-intro)


(a secret : when i was in matriculation,i was influenced by science courses seniors to play skateboards every weekends' midnight, and out of all the place, i would say, block b, clinics and stairs to library are the best!and stairs dkat khadijah's college gak lpstu kena kejar dgn mak guard,it wasnt my idea,abg2 senior tu hati kering.huhu.)

.please to be informed that above writings has nothing to do with the title mentioned.



if im about to talk about this topic,i need more than one post to explain about these two opposite nature of people,idealist and realist(rationalist is not a synonym for realist).

i biasly perceived myself as an idealist,as during my childhood,i chose skateboard over football,eventhough no one play skateboard in my neighbourhood (beloved pusat bandar puchong), i myself insist my parent to buy one every year for my birthday's gifts( from form 1 untill form 5).yes,so 5 skateboards.(tapi tinggal satu je,lain m.i.a).

im an idealist when i hate ordinary kids doing ordinary things,it's boring and lame.
so i do different thing,skateboard.

i travel here and there,i spent lavishly on skateboard things,magazines,cds & etc.my counsin once called me a poser,my friends laughed at me everytime i pass by their house to go skateboarding.it was hard to find the right place at my neighbourhood,usual place would be the bus station(depan smkpbp),tasik(recreational area with 2 basket courts),shoplots depan giant bandar puteri(by now all the shops are fully occupied) and basketball court wawasan 1.

sometimes i got fed up,playing alone, without a proper place to play, so sometimes i just play basketball or football rather than go for skating,thats when my situation from being an idealist switch to being a realist.but im not a realist.so i keep skating,

thats the pre-intro

p/s : one of my favourites , andrew reynolds with sam's town (the killers).

Sunday, May 16, 2010

.back in school.

this content is not to be made for public,its for friends and family members only.
(i know my sneaky cousins always read my blog.thank you)




i would say i wasnt merely a student during my school days.i never revised anything(even for spm).i was considered as a weirdo by the school lads.i was e invisble guy in school.i did things that my friends would avoid without a thought .poetry, debating, pidato, syarahan,dikir barat & etc,and yes,i did represent my school for most of the events.won once in district level and none since.funny and humiliating,i was called putera 'smk**1' during assembly(by beloved teacher anom) since i keep getting the prizes or certificates from mr principal.but yet, i was an emotional,anti-social,stubborn and unpredictable young kid.i get annoyed by mean jokes easily.and i hate organized things.to conclude,i was an ordinary boy without much bother upon anything.and so, i cant really understand how i deserved to be called putera 'smk**1'.so,it was a little bit humiliating to be called that way.indeed,i hate books.

so when i got into form 2, i avoid myself from joining any similar competition.but somehow,i still had to join 3-4 competitions.and i lost for syarahan,a competition where my teachers would expect me to win again.for others, i failed to win anything.bu.it wasnt my thing.all i want to do is to go for skateboarding every evening,or basketball,or football.but still,i dont care much about what you or others would expect from me.so during form 3,i trained friends of mine to replace my place for syarahan and poetry things.and i even had a sajak of my own(i created those),which my friend used in district competition.;p.watever it is,i had enough of joining such things.

form 3,i played sports more than anything else.if im not mistaken,i joined 'And 1 basketball 3x3' held at usj summit during this particular year.and yeah,i still with my skateboard and sometimes,football.this year was the year where i start travelling here and there to find a skatepark or skate-able spots.i even played at danga bay skatepark which is the cool windy skatepark ever.(it was like playing at the long beach,california skatepark).i even had the chance to skate at ttc skatepark,b.b.bangi(i was still living in puchong back then).and other skateparks as well,like sunway extreme park.(and im not sure if they still have skatepark by now).eventhough i was all alone,i learned much from these experiences.

form 4 and form 5 ,nothing much, more into sports(bowling,pingpong), scout?(haha,i received the golden badge at district level but never that active in school), and facilitator thingy(thanx cikgu said).and i started to mingle with people.what a surprised change hah?,:-).and i started to expressed myself through music,various bands,known and unknown accompanied me day and night.

fact num 1 :
enough for that,by middle of 2005, there was a girl who was my bestfriend opened my eyes towards the meaning of life,dreams,purposes,hopes and since that,i suddenly changed to someone better.i hope i did.;p

fact number 2 :
this is not my whole experience,just part of it,to recall myself,of who i was,and who i am now.
the answer : ordinary boy with unsettled dreams.

fact number 3 :
and teacher anom who once called me prince of the school during assembly is the sister-in-law of my AGA's lecturer : dr n**** anum.and teacher anom told me(as we met on my raya's open house) that she told everything about me to my lecturer already(and i have more dark moments in school than the good ones).no wonder dr. n**** keep looking at me after raya's holiday break in her class,and guess what, i skipped aga class more than 3 times already by the time she told me.huhu.


p/s : eventhough i wasnt 'so call' a good student, i hate smoking,hang out at cc,coupling and etc.im glad i was naturally inclined to the good things.pfffftttt.and i still have bunches of skateboarding magazine(malaysia scene) and vcds of malaysia skateboarders,nak pinjam?

Saturday, May 8, 2010

.not mine.


In this world of news,
I've found nothing new
I've found nothing pure
Maybe I'm just idealistic to assume that truth could be fact and form
That love could be a verb Maybe I'm just a little misinformed

As the dead moon rises, and the freeways sigh
Let the trains watch over the tides and the mist
Spinning circles in our skies tonight
Let the trucks roll in from Los Angeles
Maybe our stars are unanimously tired

Let your love be strong, and I don't care what goes down
Let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud
Fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your eyes
All of my world hanging on your love

Let the wars begin, let my strength wear thin
Let my fingers crack, let my world fall apart
Train the monkeys on my back to fight
Let it start tonight When my world explodes,
when my stars touch the ground Falling down like broken satellites
All of my world resting on your love

=)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

.done and changes.may 2010.

i've posted of list of things to do for this year.unexpected, ive already done few of those.but some changes came into my mind and thus,reconcile it is a must.

num 3.
specific goal.
- join any professional convention or seminar
things done.
- i went to students accounting conference : '2wards frs convergence 2012' at unisel last april.accompanied by teha and ana and beloved dr akhyar.it was cool though.e gist of the conference is quite crucial for us(students) to know.i was pretty excited eventhough it was held on weekends.and i met this guy name thava from lim kok wing, which i accidentally met again on the next monday at ijn(i was auditing ijn back then), and he was there with his dad (sort of post-heart operation medical check up).what a small world huh?.:-)
comment.
-im still going to attend other conferences,esp those relating to my field.business,economy , accounting & etc.when will i attend the second one?.He knows best.;p

num 7.
specific goal
-buy malcolm gladwell's & mitch albom's books.
things done
-bought the last series of my malcolm's collection,the tipping point.this is malcolm's first book but for me,it is the last.
-for mitch,i bought 1 of his book,have 1 of his in softcopy,just left with 'have a little faith' i guess.:-)
comment
-eventhough im having them,it'll be never be enough.I'm thinking of buying religious book and conventional kind,i had enough with self-help book i guess?

num 9.
specific goal
searching for info regarding acca abroad.
changes & issues
i'm searching for scholarship available for acca but now(after having some thought about the info and others' opinion),i seem to opt for master rather than doing acca abroad.the main problem is finding a scholarship.jpa want only their undergraduate scholars(not other scholars) which a big blow to me and alternatively,mara seems to be a perfect fit,but not when it comes to spm,all subjects must achieve credit,i gt 4a,6b and 1 d.chemistry.how worse is that?now it is a big problem for me to find other scholarship as the sponsors for post graduate study are limited compared to acca.Ya Allah,help me.please show me the way to achieve my dreams.i hopw i will.;/
comment
if im going to do my master or acca in local institution,my current scholars will continue sponsoring me if i graduate with 3.5 and above which is not an issue insyAllah,but it seems to be least desireable than studying outside.i need to find a solution for this.;-(
p/s:
im not sure if shell still offer scholarship for those who want to do acca abroad,which require final cgpa of 3.75 above.achievable at the moment but im not sure about final year.it goin to be hard.just do my best.no pressure.be cool but determine.and join programmes inside & outside campus.whatever it is,i hope by achieving these dreams will lead me closer to Him.biiznillah;-)

to be continued

Those whom they call upon do desire (for themselves) means of access to their Lord, - even those who are nearest: they hope for His Mercy and fear His Wrath: for the Wrath of thy Lord is something to take heed of. (al-isra' :57)

believe in your dreams as mean of believing in Him.and you will get everything insyaAllah.;-)

Monday, April 12, 2010

.strangers everyday,yet so close.(part one)

have you ever meet someone and within seconds you say, 'you look familiar , have we meet before or something', and later, it continues with unnecessary long 'question and answer' session.sometimes you might get lucky that you really have seen/meet them before, otherwise you don't, at the end, you have to stop the conversation or start with a new one, both ways, it would be awkward.am i right?:-)

it's something common and happens everyday,why would i bother much about it?simple as it should be, it amuses me much and i noticed how simple things can mean something meaningful out of it.it's nothing extraordinary but it implies one thing, we are not the only one who living in this world, there is always someone else, stranger!.you call them by that name at the moment, but later, you might call them with something else.friends?uncle?by name?or etc.whatever it is, let the time decides.btw,i cant say much about how the 'let the time decides' works exactly but i do have stories to make it clearer.:-)

at the moment, im still in my intership period with this audit firm which have numbers of clients located around klang valley and selangor.so far, ive been assigned job to 5 clients including client i currently auditing.the first one in sunway,which require me to drive straight from home and honestly, it was so tiring and costly(the claims didnt help much though) and hitz.fm gotcha call was my buddy every morning.nothing much about the first job as it was the worst job ive ever assigned.second one is interesting.located in the heart of kl,jalan raja chulan.i drove to bandar tasik selatan,took star lrt to hang tuah, and monorail to raja chulan.and walked quite a distance to the office.so how do the journeys relate to the story?

as i parked at the bandar tasik selatan(bts) car park,there will always be 4 indian guy there, one would take my money and give me the ticket, another one would return the balance(if any) and the remaining two 'cool' dudes(they were so damn nice to me) would be at large car park assisting the customers to park their car and as i was one of them, they assisted me for the first few days.nothing much about it but guess what, on the next day, the 4 dudes already recognized my car very well eventhough they were 150++ other customers everyday in that car park, but still, they knew me by the second day.sometimes, when i get off the car, one of them would shouted at me in nice way 'abang,apa khabar',and yup,they cheered my morning.:p.

i'm an observant(as agreed by imran to not call ourselves stalker but an observant.hehe),which also means im not in ignorance most of the time upon things or people around us, so by observing the way they noticed me, my heart started to noticing them as well.;)

hey friends, i might dont recognized them that much,but for some reasons, i do believe if i meet them one day in random shopping mall,at random streets, i would say, i've met this indian guys somewhere,they look so familiar,but where and when?.i could spend hours thinking about it.strangers?they are.but yet so close to me.;-)

to be continued

p/s : car park's dudes are cool huh?wait for star lrt's buddies and ladies.and the monorail's professionals.;-)

Saturday, April 3, 2010

.capitalist.







i recall a discussion between panelist from penang based developer's representative@panelist and BFM deejay on friday morning(otw to IJN@creepy lovely client).

the developer : penang based company.
the panelist : annoying capitalist
the bfm deejay : moderate idealist & realist

they started with the intro and company development and later they went further into specific discussion which touches upon their recent project in penang.

dj : regards to your recent project in penang, u are expecting to deal with squatters that have been there for years, what will you do upon that situation?

panelist : oh true, we are expecting to deal with that, but we do believe we don't have any problem with them as we have enough experience in dealing with squatters.that is not even our concern at the moment.as usual, they will ally with NGO and politicians but that will not change anything as we know how to play the game and the result will be a win-win situation.and bla3...
(with her annoying tone ever)


and the discussion went on....


my naive thought : there is nothing wrong with her answer, its a typical answer you would expect from any developing company, but the tone of arrogance? it makes an ugly capitalist seems uglier.ppppfffttt.

p/s : not emotional.just being rational.

Friday, April 2, 2010

.sub-mission accomplished.


malcom's done.complete 4 series.huhu.
so 12 books left to buy for 2010.
oh yeah.;)

p/s :i'm enjoying it.:p

Saturday, March 27, 2010

.things to be done before 31 December 2010.



1.get into mandarin class.
2.get into french class.
3.join any professional convention or seminars.
4.join advanced english class.
5.complete my dreams book before noddy's europe trip.
6.hafaz few surah from qur'an and 10 hadith at least.
7.buy malcolm gladwell's & mitch albom's books.
malcolm's left to buy : tipping point
mitchs's left to buy : have a little faith
andrew mathew's left to buy : happiness in hard times
8.searching for info regarding acca abroad.
9.read at least new 15 books.
10.create new dreams.
11.experience new things & new friends.
12.get into formal guitar/piano class.(even it's like too late)
13.to reach 60 kg physically.

p/s : i wrote down these things, now i'm able to see things clearer, and so to achieve them will be easier.:)

Insyallah.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

.elated again.

favourite songs of the week.
1.rufus wainwright - accross the universe
2.the perisher - nothing like you and i
3.dido - dont leave home
4.simply red - everytime we say goodbye
5.ben folds - golden slumbers
6.the wallflowers - i'm looking through you
7.ben harper - strawberry fields forever
8.magnetic fields - very funny
9.paul westerberg - nowhere man
10.joshua radin - only you

funny song of the week
the vines - im only sleeping

dance-able song of the week
snsd - gee

hippi song of the week
regina spektor - on the radio

rock song of the week
editors - blood

malay song of the week
now see heart - damai yang hilang

solo artist of the week
joshua radin

band of the week
the perisher

video of the week
rufus wainwright - accross the universe



Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,
Possessing and caressing me.
Jai guru deva, om

Nothing's gonna change my world.x4

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on across the universe,
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way
Across the universe
Jai guru deva, om,

Nothing's gonna change my world.x4

Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing
Through my opened ears inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying Love which shines around me like a
million suns, and calls me on and on
Across the universe
Jai guru deva, om,

Nothing's gonna change my world.x4

p/s: thanx to my pwc senior and noddy.;-)

Sunday, February 28, 2010

.24/7.

when it comes to the part where i become so obsess with my dreams.
people would perceived it as an annoying circumstances.
they would say you are taking it way too hard.
and you would easily degrade yourself with that.
that would be their 'typical' response.
sometimes it makes sense but sometimes it doesn't.
~pppfffttt

i was sure enough auditor is my dream profession.
the exposure,ability to deal with high ranked people in big organization thrilled me.
i made it so far during my internship.
but there are few things that i must consider.
as i have to sacrifice a lot if i want to be good at this.
it requires more than determination.
it can kills your happiness.

so far, the managers that I've met are fast track performers.
yet to reach 30 and earning 5 digit per month.
thats cool.but.
they arent having a great life.
why i said that?because there are few seniors shared their experience with me.
working during public holidays and weekend is their routine.
they look so pathetic in personality.
it seems that they devoted themselves to their career more than anything else.
it could've been worst than that.
loser~~

something that i dont want to miss is the beauty of life.
and my definition of beauty in life is subjective.
and part of it is having a great career prospect.
being an auditor?.i'm not sure about that.
let me do some research first.;-)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

.when i let my thoughts flow back and forth.i smile.



Where have you been,
My long lost friend?
It's good to see you again.
Come and sit for a while
I've missed your smile
Today the past is goodbye.
Time can't erase
A lover's embrace.
Can't you hear it calling?
A new day dawning
You were longing to find.

Love's taken you far
Away from my heart,
And I've been here all alone.
Have your eyes failed to find
What took you from mine,
A vision that's faded through time?
But you sailed away,
A fine summer's day,
Cause you heard it calling,
A new day dawning,
You were longing to find.

There is a way to make you stay.
Darlin don't turn away
Don't doubt your heart
and keep us apart
I'm right where you are
Stay

There is a way to make you stay.
Darlin don't turn away.
Don't doubt your heart
and keep us apart
I'm right where you are
Stay.

.dear friends.:)


Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,

When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone,
cause I'll be there,

I'll be your shoulder to cry on,I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,When the whole world is gone,you won't be alone,
cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!

p/s : tommy page - a shoulder to cry on.

.unsual circumstances.

someone that ignored me for some reasons.
waived and smiled.
and someone whom close with me.
was 20 metres away.

p/s : guilty.

Monday, February 15, 2010

.satisfaction.

is when i turn my dreams into reality.
is when being close with Him and He really can forgives me for mistakes that i've done.
is when i'm am able to fully appreciate people around me by kindness,through thoughts,words & actions.

keywords :
1.fisabillillah.
2.habluminnas and habluminaAllah.
3.al-falah.

.i have no issues.

as a friend and called and said.
i know something and something about you.
through here and there.
i'm not stalking you or what.
just want to know more about you.

my reply : you should have a better way to know more about me.because you are a friend,arent you?

p/s : i got no issues with it,just feel it wasnt appropriate.;-)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

.the bullet train.

as others on their cars.cabs.bicycles.and some yet to make their move.
we already inside the train.
a bullet train.

it moves so fast.
with definite stops.but often with different people & surrounding at each ends.
its dangerous but convenient in a way.
way that only you and i can describe.

problem with trains.
u cant make a u-turn each time u make a mistake.
there'll be no second chance.not so easy.esp if you're on a bullet train.

it might look beautiful at the beginning.
may turn ugly at the end.or the beautiful just remain?
leave the answer box unopened.
we don't want to know the answer any soon.

my past is not so pleasing to know.
words failed to be proven.
promises made and broken up.
and hearts lose their trust too often.

you know me and you believe everything.
and i dont want to let you go away.
not so easy.
as theres much things i havent said and done.
even it might take the whole life to do it.;-)

p/s to others :
thank you for being here.
reading and trying hard to understand it.
you might pretend that you know everything.
but you arent capable of doing it.
;-)

.they lost their souls to the night.

when the dancers made their moves.
they convinced the world they are livin in their own world.
which seems better at some moments.
but not most of the time.

when the music stopped.
the moves mean nothing.
rather being an illiteral expression.
they were trying hard to get a little more attention.

in their eyes.
i saw despair.loneliness.meaningless sights.
unable to express through the moves and songs.
they just like the paperdolls who lost their souls to the night.

;-)

Sunday, January 31, 2010

.i'm scared.

this feeling is killing me.
seconds.minutes.hours.
you shouldnt do this to me.
you should've known better.
any guy would feel the same way i feel.
your awesomeness.
is not bareable.

i've met much of your species.
i've known some that attract me.
i'd become close with few.
i'd hooked up twice.
but none of them stay till now.

supposed i'd no reasons to bother about this anymore.
i'd promised to myself not to fill my head with these stupid feeling stuff.
and i managed to hold on that promise for last few months.
and now you come and trying to knock my heart.

im scared of breaking my own promise.
please dont do this.
:-(

Saturday, January 30, 2010

.water splash caused by the speedboat.its yours.

random day with random thoughts with random people its so not random.
twist things around with your eyes open.
it's just the magical of life that sparks the lights.
the similar brain were infront and it just seldom happened.
but it did.
:-)

my prayer : next job will be less pressure.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

.e bus stop.e fire thingy.and e songs from another similar brain.

it's not so normal thing to do.
left things at e bus stop.
found others inside a tree next to fire thingy.
can we call it a treasure hunt?
haha.
but real thanx to the similar brain.
we are exceptionaly the same.
although its so not pleasing me.it is freaking me out actually.
but im excited in a way.
hope this give me a reason to smile again.
:-)

Saturday, January 23, 2010

.once upon a time.

u'd sat among those.
listening to the people u randomly knew.
u wait for them to say what they want.
some amazed you,and some kills you.
you have the thought 'will i ever be like them'.
it is not something that everyone would ever wish for.
it was a random thought.
but u made it yesterday.just like your other dreams.
and for the remaining days.
you want to believe that every wish that ever come from your heart and mind.
can easily turn to be true.
amin.
:-)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

.why they are here.

because you want them so.
stop the thoughts and live another kind.
they are none but undesirable species.
i hate them when they are so adorable.
maybe i love them when they are all acting like bitches.
and later i have reasons to hate them anyway.
but what makes you feel that you need them so much.do you?.
lame.

Wait, wait for the dawn my dear
Wait till the sun gets here
Wait, wait till the sun shines through
Wait till the sky is blue
Wait, wait till the signs are right
Wait till the perfect time
Wait till you don't doubt no more
Wait till you know for sure
And you will wait too long she will be gone
she will be gone
:/

(get set go-wait)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

.thats why people are beautiful.

u've met many kind before.
the worst,the typical and the great one.
its all about your judgment that rank them.
and i incidentally know someone who can really play my songs on piano.
incidentally means shes a friend of lil my sis and a friend of a friend.
i request something for fun and she really made it within a night.
seriously.
guys like me and my friends adore these kind of people.
so,its so irresistible to say shes not awesome.
and make it sounds like barney in how i met your mother.
you are AWESOME..!!!..:-).lol.

check it on youtube .i hope she dont mind i put her link here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UEWtNk5txc
i dont think she know my blog anyway.

and suddenly i feel like i want to learn MLTR - thats why you go away on piano.
haha.and dedicated it to no one.
:-)

p/s : imran,dia pakai spek jugak.haha.

.regrets.

its like when you run towards something.
and you forget what is your limit.
you push harder.
and you feel like you are just getting better.
but you are so wrong.
because your soul need a rest.
at least take a look upon the ground each and every seconds.
to keep you on the right track.
its not about when you are able to get there.
but it is about how & what it takes to get there.
and other things,remain as where they are.
just let it go.will you?

.it's going to crash real soon.or has it?

things between me and my passion.
are exceptionally great.
im living in my own world and ignore others perception.
but now.
the so not great thing about my dreams is.
become visible each day and it start to become more obvious.
i learned each and every minutes what and why this is happening.
but i believe this how the life works.
you get what you need.
not what you want.
but now i still have time and thoughts to change anything.
and i will.
slowly.
and slow.
but beware.
the world run fast.
hope tomorrow i'll do better.
amin..
:-)